Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me who thinks there’s a big different between 20-somethings and 30-somethings. But then I hang around with 20-somethings and realize, “No, it’s not just me…GIANT differences!!” I was thinking the other day (I do that all too often) and realized that when you are in your 20s, the majority of your friends are in their 20s. Sure, you have a couple of friends who just turned 30 before you, but for the most part, your friends are between 20 and 29. But when you reach your 30s, your friends range in age from 30 all the way up to 60 (I have some good friends, who are not my parent’s friends, who are in their mid-50s), and rarely do you have friends in their 20s (other than the few stragglers who are just a couple of years younger than you that you have known for years). When I was 25 I wouldn’t have believed that I would be different at 30, but I was. And when I talk to people in their 20s, they don’t believe there is a difference, but I see it – am I alone?
My boyfriend (which seems really strange to say after having a husband – my friend said that there should be a better word for that and I agree) Rod, is 26 and I’m 32. I do notice some differences with how he dates than how men in their 30s date. He still thinks that women want that jerk who acts like a tough guy. I haven’t wanted him since I was 22. But for the most part, when it’s just us, we get along great and I don’t think about the age difference. It’s when I go out with him and his friends that I start noticing how much age matters…
Occasionally when Rod and I go out, I find myself surrounded by people in their 20s (some of them as young as 22). One time I was with him and 2 of his friends. They were talking about all kinds of things that I knew nothing about, so I started to get bored. Rod’s friend B started talking about this girl he recently started seeing. He was describing her personality and job as just being “okay” but then he said, “But she’s hot!” Rod actually gave B a high-five, right in front of me, in the restaurant, as if it was completely natural! It was just the most bizarre thing I have experienced in a really long time. I thought to myself, “Did that just happen? Do guys really high-five each other when they say that they are dating someone who is possibly boring but hot? And in front of a girl the other one is dating?!” I also thought to myself, “No way would a 30-something do that.” Then later we met some more of this friends (all in their 20s) and they talked a lot about getting drunk, going out to bars, more about the hot woman, and many other topics in which made me feel not old, but mature (in a good way). There was no disrespect going on; no one said anything out of the norm, but it had just been a long time since I had found myself with a group of 6 20-somethings, and barely mid-20-somethings at that, that I forgot how far I’d come in just a few years.
I do really very much enjoy my time with Rod. We have a great connection and I’m at the point now that I will be at least mildly broken-hearted (if not fully) if things don’t work out. But I can honestly say that I do not enjoy the company of more than one 20-something at a time! I’m very happy to be in my 30s!!